Here's a melodramatic, corporate-villain-flavored breakup text:
:::writing{variant="chat_message" id="68241"}
I've reviewed the metrics on our relationship, and I'm afraid your performance has fallen below EvilCorp's minimum standards for loyal henchmanship. While I appreciate your years of service, your recent reluctance to pull levers labeled "DO NOT PULL," your excessive concern for innocent bystanders, and that unfortunate incident where you apologized to the hero have forced me to make difficult strategic cuts.
Effective immediately, your position as my Right-Hand Minion has been eliminated as part of a broader restructuring initiative. This decision is final and not subject to appeal, arbitration, or dramatic pleas made during thunderstorms atop my fortress.
Please return all company-issued capes, skull-shaped cufflinks, access badges, and genetically modified attack weasels by close of business. Your final severance package includes two weeks of evil dental, one complimentary escape pod (subject to availability), and a generic recommendation letter stating that you were "adequately menacing under supervision."
I genuinely wish you success in your future villainous endeavors. Just not with my competitors.
Regards,
The Supreme Executive of Doom
CEO, EvilCorp Global
:::
If you'd like, I can also make it more absurd, more genuinely threatening, or read like a passive-aggressive HR email.
